At one time or another, everyone knows someone who is depressed or upset. But how do you know when their problems are more than just “normal” and the person needs help?

If someone you know is suffering from an emotional or mental disorder, there are many things you can do. The first is to recognize there is a problem.

Although you may rarely see them, some behaviors may indicate extreme emotional distress and a need for urgent care. These are things such as:

Highly disruptive behavior (such as being hostile or physically violent).
Inability to communicate clearly (such as garbled or slurred speech)
Loss of contact with reality (such as seeing/hearing things which aren’t there)
Overtly suicidal thoughts (such as saying the world is better of without them)
Homicidal thoughts (such as expressing the intent to kill another person).

If you have a friend or co-worker who is doing one of these things, try to stay as calm as possible. It is best to find someone to stay with them while calls to an appropriate authority are made.

If that person is in serious danger of harming him/herself or others, call 911 immediately.

If the situation is not life threatening, then you may want to contact a family member, school or work security, or a crisis help-line for more assistance.

But most problems are not that dramatic. Sometimes, it’s more of a pattern of behaviors that may indicate significant emotional distress. Things such as:

Sudden or extreme changes in behaviors (such as isolation or not showering)
An unusual emotional response for the situation (such as blowing up about a missed television show).
Serious declines in school or work performance.
Not eating or sleeping.
Being excessively active or talkative
Avoiding people or things they used to enjoy
Swollen, red eyes
Dramatic changes in the way they dress or do their hair.
Sweating when the room is not hot
Falling asleep in the classroom or on the job

In dealing with a friend or co-worker, you have several choices:

You can choose to not deal with it at all
You can deal with the issue or disruptive behavior in a way that limits your interaction (such as not inviting that friend out anymore).
You can deal with the situation on a more personal level

If you choose to deal with it personally, think about the following:

Speak privately
Don’t be judgmental (Try saying something like, “I’ve noticed you have been late for work and I am concerned,” rather than, “Where have you been lately? Goofing off again?”)
Listen sensitively (Don’t jump to conclusions or offer quick solutions, rather repeat back what the person is presenting to you. Let them talk – you listen)
Help analyze solutions to the problem as they see it (Clarify the costs and benefits of each option from the other person’s point of view)
Respect the person (Avoid judging, evaluating, or criticizing. Respect the person’s value system, even if you don’t agree with it.)

Even though someone asks for help with a problem and you are willing to help, there are circumstances that suggest they need a professional. These situations include:

The problem or request for information is one you know you can’t handle.
You believe that personality or value differences will interfere with your ability to help.
You could not be objective enough to be of help.
This person acknowledges the problem but is reluctant to discuss it with you
You see little progress being made even with your help.
You are feeling overwhelmed, pressed for time, or otherwise at a high level or stress yourself

Some people accept a referral more easily than others. The best referral is one to which the person will respond. Depending on the situation, have the person consider talking more with their friends and family, their doctor, clergy, and perhaps a mental health professional. If the person does not know what is wrong, they may be comforted to know that they don’t necessarily have to know before they ask for help.
Assure them that seeking help doesn’t necessarily mean they have serious problems. It is possible their concerns are similar to any one of us who may at one time or another seek the help of another person. The important thing is that they are doing something about it.
I am Dr. Greg Cason for WebiHealth.com your source for health tips, medical answers and your overall guide to wellbeing.

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