I’m Dr. Michelle for webihealth. In the last segment I talked about some of the important personality traits which may indicate healthier characteristics in a possible long term partner. I also suggested to people what might be important questions to ask themselves when considering them for long term relationships.

So, along with having emotional openness, integrity, honesty, and trustworthiness, other important characteristics to look for in a partner are: maturity and responsibility, having a willingness to be open to personal growth, having good self esteem, and a generally positive attitude towards life.  Here are some signs that someone is mature enough to have a healthy relationship: if they can take care of themselves, emotionally, physically, and financially.

Getting into a relationship with someone who is moody, depressed, anxious or creating drama in their lives can be a lot of work. Also if they have a stable social life with good friends and family, chances are they haven’t pushed people away with their drama. And, if you’re healthy, you won’t want to care take someone who is emotionally unstable .

People who are physically healthy usually care about themselves and their appearance which shows self respect.  Finally, someone who can take care of themselves financially is an important thing to look at. They don’t have to be wealthy, but knowing that someone can manage their finances will avoid one of the most common problems that couples have… which is: arguments about money.

Another important trait is finding someone who has a willingness to be open to personal growth. People who are open to learning how to be a better person are more emotionally healthy and they usually aren’t narcissists.

It’s important to be with someone who is okay about exploring what emotional baggage they’re still carrying and are open to self improvement. In the next segment, I’ll tell you why it’s important to be with a partner who has good self esteem, and a more positive attitude towards life.

I’m Dr. Michelle for webihealth.

Most people know what traits they do and don’t want in a possible mate, but in helping people define those things, I sometimes give them suggestions about which personality traits may indicate healthier characteristics. And, I tell them what might be important questions to ask themselves when considering someone for a long term relationship.

One of the most important qualities in a partner is having emotional openness. If your partner can’t identify and share their feelings with you, then they’re probably not ready to be in an intimate relationship.

Healthy people are able to show us their love and trust by being open, honest and vulnerable. Now, I’m not talking about the person who can be scary or creepy by telling us “way too much information” about their lives and feelings on the first several dates.

The personality characteristics and traits which you might want to look for in a partner are associated with the ability to have long term, healthier relationships.

These traits are: having emotional openness, integrity, honesty, and trustworthiness, having maturity and responsibility and a willingness to be open to personal growth.

A couple of other important traits are finding someone with good self esteem and a generally positive attitude towards life. A person with low self esteem loves in order to feel good about themselves. A person with high self esteem loves because they feel good about who they are.

You might check out whether that special someone takes good care of themselves, doesn’t allow others to abuse them, doesn’t procrastinate for fear of failure and takes reasonable risks for success.

Finally, it’s important to be with a person who has a somewhat positive attitude towards life. Negative people always focus on problems and fears and complain about others.  They’re also cynical and don’t’ trust others easily.

More positive people focus on finding a solution to problems.

The personality characterists and traits which you might want to look for in a partner because they are associated with the ability to have long term, healthier relationships. These traits are: having emotional openness, integrity, honesty, and trustworthiness, having maturity and responsibility and a willingness to be open to personal growth. A couple of other important traits are finding someone with good self esteem and a generally positive attitude towards life.

A person with low self esteem loves in order to feel good about themselves. A person with high self esteem loves because they feel good about who they are. You might check out whether that special someone takes good care of themselves, doesn’t allow others to abuse them, doesn’t procrastinate for fear of failure and takes reasonable risks for success. Finally, it’s important to be with a person who has a somewhat positive attitude towards life.

Negative people always focus on problems and fears and complain about others. They’re also cynical and don’t’ trust others easily. More positive people focus on finding a solution to problems.

ref=312834

I’m Dr. Michelle for Webihealth. In the last segment I talked about some of the important personality traits which may indicate healthier characteristics in a possible long term partner. I also suggested to people what might be important questions to ask themselves when considering them for long term relationships.

So, along with having emotional openness, integrity, honesty, and trustworthiness, other important characteristics to look for in a partner are: maturity and responsibility, having a willingness to be open to personal growth, having good self esteem, and a generally positive attitude towards life.

Here are some signs that someone is mature enough to have a healthy relationship: if they can take care of themselves, emotionally, physically, and financially. Getting into a relationship with someone who is moody, depressed, anxious or creating drama in their lives can be a lot of work.

Also if they have a stable social life with good friends and family, chances are they haven’t pushed people away with their drama. And, if you’re healthy, you won’t want to care take someone who is emotionally unstable .  People who are physically healthy usually care about themselves and their appearance which shows self respect.

Finally, someone who can take care of themselves financially is an important thing to look at.  They don’t have to be wealthy, but knowing that someone can manage their finances will avoid one of the most common problems that couples have….which is:  arguments about money.

Another important trait is finding someone who has a willingness to be open to personal growth.  People who are open to learning how to be a better person are more emotionally healthy and they usually aren’t narcissists.

It’s important to be with someone who is okay about exploring what emotional baggage they’re still carrying and are open to self improvement. In the next segment, I’ll tell you why it’s important to be with a partner who has good self esteem, and a more positive attitude towards life.

I’m Dr. Michelle for Webihealth.

Most people know what traits they do and don’t want in a possible mate, but in helping people define those things, I sometimes give them suggestions about which personality traits may indicate healthier characteristics. And, I tell them what might be important questions to ask themselves when considering someone for a long term relationship. One of the most important qualities in a partner is having emotional openness.

If your partner can’t identify and share their feelings with you, then they’re probably not ready to be in an intimate relationship. Healthy people are able to show us their love and trust by being open, honest and vulnerable. Now, I’m not talking about the person who can be scary or creepy by telling us “way too much information” about their lives and feelings on the first several dates.

ref=312830

The video speaks for itself.

It’s about finding a partner with the right personality traits that would suit the other partner’s needs.  If you can’t follow that, then your personality trait might include attention deficit disorder…

ref=312828

I’m Dr. Michelle for Webihealth. In the last segment, I told you about the type of communication that leads to healthy relationships. By using those tools, you can learn how to manage almost any issue. The top five most common problems that come up with couples are, money, sex, work, kids and housework. A recent study found that more than 70 per cent of couples talk to their partner about money at least once a week and they fight most often about debt and unresponsible spending. Sex can be the most wonderful thing that brings a couple together or it can be withheld to punish or manipulate a partner. And with our hectic lifestyles, sex can get put off too easily. Its important to tell your partner what type of affection and lovemaking you would like from them… don’t make them guess; and avoid critizing them. In terms of work, couples need to agree or compromise on how much time each wants or needs to devote to a career and how to manage your expenses. If you have kids, this brings up a whole new bag of problems. Before you have children, it’s important to understand and compromise on eachother’s beliefs on discipline and how to set good role models. Household chores are another source of conflict for couples, not because of the actual tasks, but because of their underlying meaning. Fights about chores are often about unfilled needs for respect. If one partner feels they are putting in more effort around the house it may make them feel the other person doesn’t respect them enough to help out. It also brings up issues of power, especially if the person making more money feels they shouldn’t have to pitch in as much around the house.

Compromise on who is willing to do what and when.

ref=312630

I’m psychologist Dr. Michelle for Webihealth. In order to have a healthier relationship with our partner, it’s important to understand what experiences from the past trigger our anger, and communicate them to our partner. We need to take conscious control of our angry reactions, and listen carefully to what our partners are saying. For healthy communication to occur, you and your partner need to set a specific time and place to talk. If either of you are too upset or distracted; stop, cool down, or wait until you can have a calmer conversation. When trying to get our partners to understand us use what are called, “I” messages, rather than blaming or accusing. When our sentences start with “you always…or “you never,” were not taking responsibilty for our feelings. By saying something like “I feel hurt when you stay out late ,” your partner isn’t as likely to become defensive. By then saying, I feel like I don’t want to be close to you when you finally come home so late, because i’m angry and hurt….Rather than “you’re so selfish.” another key to healthy communication is to agree to stay on one subject at a time. This way you can make progress on one issue which hasns’t been resolved. Probably the most effective way to communicate with your partner is to be an active listener which means listen to your partner without interrupting, even if you don’t agree. After you’ve heard them…. Paraphrase and repeat back what you’ve heard. This is called “reflecting.” using the above example you might say something like “so, what i heard you say was that you are hurt when i come home late and that it will make you colder towards me…is that right?” verify and continue to get clear what your partner is feeling until you both understand eachother. These are some of the most important tools for healthy communication. I’m Dr. Michelle for Webihealth.

ref=312625

I’m psychologist Dr. Michelle for Webihealth. How do we re-wire our brains so we can get along better with our partners? By changing our thoughts and behaviors. In order to develop better relationships, it’s important to understand what old emotional triggers we have from the past. Some experts think that arguing can be healthy for a couple, because it means, “something has to change.” that’s true, but I believe that if we argue on a continual basis we can actually get “addicted to the drama” as I call it; and when we’re “arguing on autopilot,” our brains actually get stimulated and addicted to the neuro -hormones that are released in hightened emotional states. Some of these dramatic behaviors are: blaming the disagreement on our partners, becoming angry too quickly, raising our voice, trying to dominate our partners, whining, nagging. And on the more passive side, there is a problem with people who withdraw or disengage from their partner, or who may decide to do something that their partner wants, but they comply with obvious resentment. Do some of these behaviors sound familiar? How we get out of these destructive patterns and rewire our brains depends on changing our understanding of our old triggers and experiences of growing up; and communicating them to our partner. Rewiring our brains also begins with conscious control of our angry reactions to what our partner is saying and learning how to effectively express ourseves. Being patient and listening carefully to what our partners are really saying as well as respecting their needs, feelings and differences of opinion can also become the doorway to more emotional, sexual, spiritual and intellectual intimacy. In the next clip, i’ll tell you about some of the healthiest ways to communicate. I’m Dr. Michelle Cohen for Webihealth.

ref-312622