Most people know what traits they do and don’t want in a possible mate, but in helping people define those things, I sometimes give them suggestions about which personality traits may indicate healthier characteristics. And, I tell them what might be important questions to ask themselves when considering someone for a long term relationship.

One of the most important qualities in a partner is having emotional openness. If your partner can’t identify and share their feelings with you, then they’re probably not ready to be in an intimate relationship.

Healthy people are able to show us their love and trust by being open, honest and vulnerable. Now, I’m not talking about the person who can be scary or creepy by telling us “way too much information” about their lives and feelings on the first several dates.